Why is this happening to me?
Updated: Jan 30
Do you ever find yourself wondering "Why in the world is this happening to me?"
"I'm a good person. I'm kind, loving and honest. Why do I have to be going through this?"
In todays blog post, I am going to dive into that very question and propose an alternate way of looking at it.
One of the personal development books that I read put it this way...."Instead of asking 'Why is this happening to me' ask yourself...'What can I learn from this?"
I love that different outlook!
It really opened my eyes to seeing difficult situations in a better light.
I mean, realistically there is always something you can learn from ANY situation.
It may be really hard to see it in the moment, especially if the current situation is extremely stressful or scary, but after things settle down a bit and once you are no longer in the "fight or flight" mode, then you can always ask yourself..... "Mmhh....what can I learn from this?"
It may take a while to get into the habit of implementing this new way of looking at difficult problems or situations, but I think it is well worth doing.
About 15 years ago I had been working part time as a waitress as well as working part time as a massage therapist for a chiropractor. I also had a third job of taking care of babies in the nursery at a church every Sunday morning while the parents were in the church service.
I really enjoyed working in the church nursery and so I did that for about 6 years, but after finishing my schooling to become a licensed massage therapist, I finally quit the nursery job and decided to just focus on my massage therapy work.
I also enjoyed being a waitress and the flexibility it gave me to only work part time. I loved serving people and the tips were good, so I figured that I would just keep my waitressing job until my work as a massage therapy took off full time.
The chiropractor who hired me was a great doctor and I really enjoyed working for him as well.
Unfortunately there was a miscommunication between his front desk lady and I and she felt like I was stepping into her role regarding the schedule with the clients.
In reality, I never meant to step on her toes and wanted nothing to do with the scheduling with clients, nevertheless the chiropractor/owner gave me a warning to never contact a client regarding scheduling or rescheduling a massage and I agreed with no problem.
As it would turn out, about 4 months later, I ended up texting one of the clients to see if we could reschedule her massage because I was having an issue with babysitting and needed to get home to be with my kids.
This client and I had become friends and often texted each other just as friends.
I totally and completely 100% forgot about my agreement with the chiropractor to never again contact a client about scheduling or rescheduling an appointment.
It was in no way done out of spite. It was just a complete accident because in my mind I saw her more as a friend than a client, since we texted each other often.
Nevertheless, the chiropractor fired me just like that!
He would not allow me to explain anything.
He said he had warned me, (which he had) and that I broke the rule and so I was fired.
I was shocked!
I thought he would have been a little more understanding or at least let me explain my side of the story, but nope!
He didn't want to hear anything from me.
So, just like that, I was fired!
I was so thankful that I at least still had my job as a waitress at Olive Garden part time.
Then wouldn't you know......it wasn't but just a few weeks later when Olive Garden fired me because one of the tables complained about me.
It was the FIRST and ONLY complaint I had EVER received while working as a waitress!
I wasn't even rude to the people who were complaining.
It was one of those situations where they wanted a free meal, so they threw a stink and asked to have the meal for free.
I couldn't believe that Olive Garden had just fired me over only ONE complaint!!! And it wasn't even a legitimate complaint either.
I asked the manager at Olive Garden "What about the rule in the handbook that says if 3 tables complain about you, then you are automatically fired. I only had one table complain about me. That doesn't seem fair?"
The manager said "I know that there is a rule of 3 complaints and you will be fired but if the complaint is big enough, then you can be fired with only one complaint."
I said "But you know that I am a great waitress! You see how good my tips are! You know that I am very hardworking and honest and kind. Please don't fire me! I Really need this job! I have 2 little kids to provide for. Please don't fire me over this one complaint just because they wanted a free meal!?"
He said "I'm so sorry Nadya. I know that you are a great waitress and that you are really hard working, kind and honest, but unfortunately because of the extent of their complaint, I have to let you go."
And just like that I had been (in my opinion) wrongfully fired from two separate jobs all within weeks of each other.
Naturally, after the initial shock had worn off a bit, I went into "Oh my goodness! What in the world am I going to do!!??" mode.
I had known since I was in massage school that ultimately I wanted to be self employed and run my own massage therapy office, but I didn't feel ready for that yet.
I still wanted more time to work as a licensed massage therapist for someone else before taking the HUGE leap into trying to start up my own massage therapy office.
But I figured, "Well, I suppose now is as good a time as any to start my own business as a self employed massage therapist, so.....here goes!!"
I looked on craigslist for a room to rent, where I could massage clients out of.
I found a chiropractic clinic that was offering to rent one of his rooms out to a massage therapist for a flat monthly fee and I called him up and next thing you know I was meeting him at his clinic as he walked me around showing me every aspect of the clinic.
There wasn't much to think about.
He was offering me a decent monthly fee and the clinic was nice and in a good location and so next thing you know, I was signing a year lease.
What a HUGE commitment!!
I remember feeling SUPER excited and nervous and scared all at the same time.
I thought to myself "What if I can't get enough clients to pay for my office rent or my home rent?"
"How long is it going to take me to build up a good clientele base?"
"Where am I supposed to advertise?"
I had so many questions that I needed to figure out.
But guess what!!??
It ALL worked out!!
I did get enough clients to pay my office rent as well as all of my other bills.
I grew a great list of regular massage clients who came to love me and my massages 😊❤️
I ended up renting an office space there for over 14 years!!!
What I didn't realize at the time was that me getting fired from both Olive Garden as well as from the Chiropractor job, was actually a big blessing in disguise!
Little did I know at that time that I would end up having 2 more kids.
Two kids with high level special needs.
Two kids who would be unable to walk, talk or feed themselves.
Two kids who would need to go to a TON of doctor appointments and therapy appointments.
The reality is that I could never have worked a typical "employee" job while taking care of my two special needs boys.
It ended up being such a HUGE blessing that I became self employed when I did, because it gave me plenty of time to build up a great clientele who would be Extremely understanding about my scheduling limitation because of all of my special needs kids' many doctor appointments and therapy appointments.
So the moral of the story is.......don't be too quick to wonder why something terrible is happening to you.
Instead ask yourself "What can I learn from this?"
Or consider that maybe, just maybe you will realize that the difficult situation will turn out to be a blessing in disguise, like it was for me.
I'd love to hear from you! Let me know in the comments below if you have ever experienced a situation that you thought was absolutely terrible only to realize later that it was actually a blessing in disguise?
~ If you are a parent of a special needs child, I would Love to have you in my private FB group. It is a safe environment, strictly for parents with special needs kids, where you can get the encouragement and support from other parents who can relate to what you are going through. The name of my private FB group is “Special Needs Parenting SOS.” ~ 😇💕
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